*It’s the eve before the last round of the tournament. The two finalists have just been revealed, and while everyone else is eagerly speculating on which one will take the victory, a certain DJ is in the Jamspace venue with his turntables.*
Bum ch-bum – bum – bum... Yeah, that’s tight, lemme just-
Ay, friend! Those are some pretty nice skills you got there, haha.
Mr. Worldwide, I don’t believe we’ve properly met.
Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Worldwide. The name’s DJ Professor K. Heard about ya ‘round the streets of Toyko-to. I’d ask if you’ve ever been, but it ain’t on any map! You just here to watch me do my stuff, or what?
Well actually, I was thinking about a potential collaboration, recorded right here at Jamspace. I have a really cool idea that would lighten up the mood around here, you interested?
I’m always down to jam out with someone new, but what’cha mean by ‘lighten up the mood’?
Well, I’ve just been seeing a lot of folks around here all down and out ever since they lost in the tournament. I feel as if they need some sort of direction to go, something for them to find a purpose in, get them all hyped up! What do you say we gather up the first round “losers”, and arrange a track that would make some noise?
Y’know, I think I get exactly what you’re puttin’ down. I get the feelin’ a lot of folks ‘round here could use that sorta pick-me-up right about now...
Ah, what the hell? I’m in!
Hey, are you guys putting something together?
Damn, does nobody in this tournament know how to knock?
Alright alright, well, we’re thinkin’ of bringin’ all the first round losers together for a little collab. To keep people’s spirits up, ya feel me?
Hm...is it anything like a polka medley?
Probably! Come on up to the mic, and give us something from the soul.
Yeah...this song reminds me of a store back home...
Alright, fire, but let’s save the good stuff for the recording! We gotta round up the rest first!
Aight, I got my leg, I got my BRERB, I got my sandwich... Hey, where the video games?
Carlton, is that you?
Will, it’s Mr. 305, checkin’ in for the remix!
Pit? Man, it’s been a while, feels like I’ve gone back in time!
Speaking of, we were thinking of having you on board for one last collab for the tournament, you know, for old time’s sake. Between us and all the other round 1 “losers”, you in?
Dayum, oh dayum, Oh DAYUMMM! Hell yeah! We got Agent A & J back in action, baby! Haha!
[AGENT J.]
YEEEOOOO!
WHAT THE FUDGESICLE!?
WHAT’S GOING ON?!
r r r !
[APOLOGIES FOR THE INTRUSION.]
H-hey man, you haven’t heard anything about me recently right? Haha...
Yo, you’re that one alien dude, the tall one. Whatchu want man?
[YOUR RE-EMPLOYMENT IS REQUESTED. THEY WANT YOU BACK.]
Who? My Mom? Back where?
[COME WITH ME.]
Woah woah woah! Chill out alien dude, we can talk about this!
You aren’t going to probe him, are you?! Are you going to read our minds?
[NEGATIVE. HE MUST COMPLY.]
YO, what do you think you’re doing man!? Now you’re attacking contestants?! What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM MAN!
[THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, CLOUT CHASERS.]
I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!
Ayy!
Hold it! Cálmate, amigos! Popoy please, remember what we talked about? Let’s take a chill pill and talk this out, ok?
What the FUCK are you talking about man?! This puta has been gone for days, and now he is putting his hands on people?! He’s got to get knocked the fuck out!
Now hold on for just a minute! Everyone, let the gray alien dude speak! Why are you doing this man? What do you want with me?
[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CANNOT CLARIFY AT THIS LOCATION.]
Wait man, hold on. I’ll make you a deal, alright? If you wait until the tournament ends, I’ll come with you to wherever the hell you want me to go. Ok?
[THAT IS...ACCEPTABLE.]
Now that that’s settled, and now that all y’all are here...I need you all to listen to me for a moment. We’re trying to gather all of you for a track, something that will help lift ourselves up a bit.
Somethin’ to get everybody’s broken hearts pounding and blood pumpin’ to the beat!
No fucking WAY am I going to dance next to this traitor.
[I CONCUR.]
You don’t gotta! Opposite sides of the room, you feel me? Please, you two. We can’t do this without y’all, it will show everyone that we aren’t just “losers”.
vamos a bailar
...Uuuuuuughhhhh, fiiiiiinnne. I’m only doing this for you, Pitbull.
[...I ACCEPT. JUST THIS ONCE.]
Thank you for trusting me, you guys won’t regret it.
Hey! Dang it! Our wi-fi connection went out... we were 1 minute away from completing our match.
I don’t really understand the appeal of this “Super Smash Bros.”, why would I ever want to fight someone like Mario? He’s our friend.
Well, there really is no point, it’s a-
Oh no! Do you think that could be...?
Don’t worry Mallow, I will check it out.
Whoa, hold your horses, star warrior. It's just Mr. 305 checkin' in.
You really need to stop saying that every time, man.
Oh, sorry Pitbull. We are just cautious after a previous incident. What do you need my assistance for?
So uh, yeah, we were wondering if you’d be interested in joining us for a track. You know, just before the tournament ends, showing everyone what they missed out on. What do you say?
Hm, well I don’t see why not. I was looking for something else to do anyway, now that Mallow’s game lost its connection.
Sweet! That’s just about everybody, ‘cept that Snake guy. But I figure it might be a minute before we can track that sneaky bastard down, hmm...
Kept you waiting, huh?
Oh no, it’s the CIA! I knew those aliens would get us into trouble with them...
Well, speak of the devil! Don’t suppose you been listenin’ in on our plans, have ya? What do you say, soldier boy?
Hrrgh... I can’t. I’m on a mission.
[EXPLAIN YOURSELF.]
There’s been a report of Metal Gear in the area. Have any of you seen anything?
Hold up, what?
THEN DO THE HARLEM SHAKE.
